If there is one Hollywood star who is on top of the world, it has to be Selena Gomez. The former Disney child star has grown up to become one of the most beautiful, strong-minded young role models we have today. And she even has a new man who is keeping her up on that pedestal – Starboy, The Weeknd.
For the Hands To Myself star, it isn’t easy being in the spotlight all the time. And when it comes to social media, it has become more of a popularity competition than a fun pass-time that allows for you to share your personal life with fans and the public at large. So when Selena Gomez became the most followed person on Instagram, she felt more insecure about the new “achievement”. As she says in the April issue of Vogue, for which she is their covergirl, “As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head and I didn’t want to care about. I always ending up feeling like sh*t when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”
To sort out her “addiction”, she deleted the app from her phone and now only her assistant posts on her behalf, without Selena taking another glance at the image sharing site. The Kill ‘Em With Kindness star is focusing now on her mental health more than ever. Back in 2016, she checked into rehab for issues related to her battle with Lupus. “People so badly wanted me to be authentic, and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I’m not different from what I put out there. I’ve been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that’s a huge part of why I’m where I am.”
Her near breakdowns resulted in Selena Gomez canceling nearly 30 shows from her tour. She wouldn’t want to do that to her fans, but it was something that she felt was needed at that time. “Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically, I felt like I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it – which, I think, was a complete distortion.”
“I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts, I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. ‘Everybody, let’s pinky promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same sh*t they’re dealing with.”
After her stint in rehab, where she locked herself away from the world, she’s back and just as famous as ever, with loyal fans – the Selenators – standing by her. She now stays in a rented Airbnb and says that only 17 people have her phone number (and we bet one of them is Taylor Swift!)